Tuesday, June 15, 2021

She Was There

She’s gone. That is the hardest part. Because for so long, she was there.

She was there when we got engaged.

She was there when we got married.

She was there running after bears and boars on our hikes.

She was there flying off the boat and swimming her heart out during our lake days.

She was there when I found out I was pregnant.

24 weeks pregnant baby #2

She was there when I went into labor.

She was there when I came home from the hospital after two D&Cs and she was there when I miscarried at home. She provided me with more comfort than I could ever put into words. Dogs know.

She was there giving us the side-eye when we brought home yet another baby brother.

She was there, curled up in her dog bed in my office as I worked, serving as the best furry coworker in the world.

She was there on my bad days.

She was there on my good days.

She was there when we moved six different times, getting in the way, putting her butt on me while I packed boxes, and adjusting to our new homes like a champ.

She was there, pulling me along as I trained for my first half marathon. And she was there grabbing a tennis ball, begging me for a round of fetch 2.5 seconds after our 10 mile long training run.

She was there on every single walk, always trotting on the left side of the sidewalk or road. Her side.

She was there on our vacations.

She was there at the beach. Our little water dog.

She was there, shaking her ears and waking our babies.

She was there for endless rounds of fetch where watching her run and sprint was like watching sheer joy on four legs.

She was there, my forever best friend, when we moved to places where we didn’t know anyone.

She was there, refusing to sit or lie down on hard surfaces, waiting for a couch, bed, pillow, towel or blanket before she’d relax her little princess body.

She was there, standing at the top of our bed, staring at us, waiting for us to lift up the sheets so she could curl up underneath them to sleep with us every night.

She was there, a little grumpy in the mornings until she eased into the day.

She was there on my lap in the front seat of the car during every road trip.

She was there, pressing her warm body against mine when I climbed into bed with a book at the end of the day. She made reading at night with her against my belly one of my very favorite parts of every day.

She was there, standing in my office window, wiggling her body back and forth when she saw us drive up the driveway.

She was there, flying out of the house, whimpering her happy high-pitched whimper (and sometimes peeing a little!) when her favorite people came to visit.

She was there watching MilkBones and traditional dog treats drop to the floor whenever a kind person would try to reward her. Meat and cheese treats only for the princess, please.

She was there, always kicking our butts at the Hand Game.

She was there, sniffing us out on the trails when we’d take off and play hide-and-seek.

She was there, climbing up on top of my body every day, placing her face on my face in an effort to be as close as possible.

She was there, always making me feel better, the scent of her body and her warm presence helping me realize everything would be okay simply because she was there.

She was there, between me and Ryan, our perfect third wheel, the very best dog, for 13.5 years.

ryan julie chase rhett ryder sadie

She was there. And then she wasn’t. But somehow she always will be because we will never forget our Sadie girl.

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