Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Welcome Ryder Thomas!

We wanted you so much. We prayed for you so hard. And now you’re here.

Our perfect, precious boy!

You entered the world fast and furious and we wept when we met you. Our sweet miracle.

Welcome to the world, Ryder Thomas!

Ryder was born on Monday afternoon – his due date! – at 3:29 p.m. weighing 7 pounds and 7 ounces. He’s 20 inches long and completely perfect. We are so in love!

A couple of hours after Ryder was born he was admitted to the NICU for meconium and fluid in his lungs. It was terrifying as we waited for more information and heard the results from his first x-rays. Not being able to hold our baby, attempt nursing and snuggle up to his face has been so challenging. I’m trying not to focus on the fact that we will very likely be discharged from the hospital today and Ryder will not.

My focus has been on Ryder and his incredible strength and the amazing response he’s shown to his treatments. We’ve seen such incredible progress from our sweet boy in a short amount of time and I have full belief we will continue to see him improve and be able to take him home soon.

Ryder didn’t have a name until late last night. Yesterday he was transitioned off a CPAP machine for breathing and onto a smaller tube for oxygen which allowed us to better see his face and my heart to grow as I soaked in his precious cheeks and perfectly pink little lips. We stroked his dark brown hair and felt like we could really SEE our baby for the first time since he was admitted to the NICU and picked a name we hope will serve him well.

Ryder means warrior. Our guy is so strong. We selected Thomas, his middle name, as a tribute to Chase who knew all along he was going to have a little brother and confidently told everyone his name would be “Thomas the Train.” It’s a name that makes us smile so big.

When I shared some very short updates about Ryder and his time in the NICU on Instagram, I received so many comments and messages from all of you and I cannot thank you enough for your incredible reassurance, prayers and kindness. To those who have had little ones in the NICU, your comments have touched me so deeply. Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I am reading every single message and comment and feeling so grateful for all of you right now.

Seeing such tiny babies fighting so hard in the NICU is unbelievable. They are so resilient! The parents we’ve met are so kind and so strong. And I can barely speak about the nurses and doctors who have watched our boy so closely without feeling overwhelmingly grateful for the work they do, their compassion, expertise and knowledge. I know Ryder is in the very, very best hands.

I am hoping to share Ryder’s birth story on the blog but right now that seems so distant from everything that came up after his arrival. I need some time to focus on our baby boy, pumping (which is incredibly challenging since I am getting nothing and my milk hasn’t come in yet), healing and pouring all of my energy into caring for our baby boy in whatever ways I can, even if they’re not the ways I envisioned right now.

Ryder Thomas, we love you so, so much and I am so lucky to be your mama.

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